#about bruce

[salparadiselost]

The New Gods AU looks quite interesting. So is Dick the god of spectacle and Tim the god of deduction?

Thank you!

The New Gods AU is dear to my heart <3

SO

Dick and Tim (and Jason) are all godlings, meaning they are directly formed from a human emotion attaching to something. Strong enough emotion with enough time can turn a more nebulous thing into an actual child-shaped godling, which can then be either raised by a god or grown up by itself.

As a godling develops, they will need to find something that feeds them and sustains their life. That is what they are 'the god of' though it isn't really like they control the thing, they more relish in it and can develop powers associated with it. They need a thing however, or else they will fade. The stronger and more prevalent that thing is, generally the stronger the god though there's usually competition over resources. Concepts do go extinct too. The things that could once support gods can fade into obscurity, so often gods must adapt their godhood to survive. It's kinda like starting from square one in terms of power, but hey you don't fade out.

Dick was a godling born in the Roman Coliseum and among all the blood and spectacle that came with it. He loves the vicious sport of competition and a crowd screaming the players on. He doesn't so much mind how much pain comes from it; it often makes a better show. Bruce caught him when he was young and though he would have been in his rights to letting Diana snuff out Dick's life in fear he was attaching to concepts that were too violent and vicious, Bruce took him in. Bruce has worked towards getting Dick attached to less... bloody spectacles. He's been a god of many types of shows and events, though circuses both Roman and modern are his favourite. He searches for anything with showboating and performance of impressive feats. Today, he mainly gleans power from in-person events such as concerts or sports shows (like WWE) though he isn't picky. He's also recently been exploring the power associated with TikTok stunts.

Tim is a godling that was born around the same time that the printing press was developed. Lots of godlings spawned during the advent of mass communication and Tim started attaching himself to rumours, lies and mysteries hidden in between letters. He loved watching how lies could destroy someone, destroy a life, or completely hide truth from another. Now, Bruce's job as a god deals with lots of mysteries (which is a whole 'nother can of worms) so Tim kinda... just started following him along until Bruce adopted him. Tim was attracted to the mysteries built into Bruce's 'job' and he also doesn't mind recreating the death (Bruce does not like this or ask for Tim to do this). Today, Tim has adapted to focusing on cold cases and true crime. He absolutely adores the true crime podcast boom and has probably shown up on your favourite 'make-up and murder' get ready with me without you even knowing.

[chainsxwsmile]

😶: What’s the worst thing you’ve eaten that shouldn’t be eaten?

Send 😶 + an uncomfortable question and my muse has to answer it

"...'lright now, don't laugh, but..."

"... a bicycle..."

"I'm not repeatin' that mistake 'gain, that's for sure."

[broose-wayne]

//but consider this also:

Because Bruce has a literal fortune and a company and all the subsidaries and charities and so on, he would have probably always had a will. As far as Bruce is concerned, it's just what you do. It's gotta be accurate, too. Up to date. Cause you know the vultures will come knocking when he dies looking for what they can get. It'll be what Thomas and Martha did to ensure Bruce could keep everything in the unlikey event of their deaths...

But given all the kids he adopts, co-parents or is a father figure to, and how often shit happens to them all, it cracks me up to think how often he'll need to change the terms of said will:

Oh, Duke has decided to stay with us? Great. Good, yes, I now must make sure he is included.

That flash kid is alright. Let me make sure he will be looked after.

But also consider the angst potential. Adopting Jason, bringing him into his will, ready to divide everything between him and Dick, and then having to take him out again after Jason dies... same with Steph and the other batkids he's lost in various timelines and whatnot. Pain.

Also, the crack potential: Jason's back in the will... then he and Bruce fall out again, and he's angrily drafting up another version like a teenage girl writing her diary. And then changes it back a little after he's calmed down.

His poor lawyer having to process all this shit. They definitely need a raise.

Bruce texting " I'm writing my will. Would anyone like anything specifically?" In the group chat. With no expectations of his kids ripping the door of his office open. With Clark in toe. Well. Should've thought twice

[dickgraysonmybeloved]

Bruce, High on pain killers: I hate to tell you this, but one of you is adopted

The Batfam: …

Dick: .. only one?

[freefallintothevoid]

Dick Grayson's unmatched success as a child vigilante makes a lot more sense when you remember the Court of Owls was a thing and that Dick was meant to be the next Grey Son.

There is no way that someone at Haly's Circus wasn't there keeping an eye on him while he grew up. A future weapon needs to be trained and monitored after all, and a circus, a place where weird skills are completely normal, is actually a great place to secretly train a child.

You know, just some knife tricks that translated really well into actual fighting. How to get out of restraints and pick locks while under a time limit. Death defying acrobatic stunts that coincidentally do wonders for parkouring. That sort of thing. Nothing that seems out of place for a boy growing up around circus performers to learn, but would literally any where else.

I mean, while I fully believe that most kids would want to kill the man responsible for their parents deaths, Dick was weirdly prepared to go through it. He tracked down Zucco with way more ease than any normal child should have too. He became the first child vigilante, for goodness sake. The first Robin! He only started getting formal training after he basically forced Bruce into it!

Bruce himself has no idea that this kind of competency in a child is unusual, considering he was much too blinded by the similarities between his and Dick's tragic orphanhoods.

Alfred is in a similar boat because he’s desensitized to weird children after he somehow managed to successfully raise Bruce 'The Batman' Wayne, so he doesn't clock the hyper-competency as abnormal either.

By the time the other batkids start popping up (Jason 'The Audacity' Todd, borderline-street rat with no fear) (Tim 'the greatest stalker in Gotham history' Drake, child genius, also bullied his way into becoming Robin) (Barbara 'raised by the only uncorrupt cop in gotham' Gordon) (Stephanie 'daddy issues and spite' Brown) (Duke 'Pretends he's the normal one and people believe him' Thomas) it's too late.

It would also explain how Dick got along so well with Damian out of all of them. Similar childhood with different approaches and all that. On some subconscious level, Dick recognises and resonates with the murderous ten year old assassin with strong familial ties to a secret elite assassin organization.

It isn't until after the whole Court of Owls and Grey Son reveal that suddenly Dick realises a whole lot of things about his childhood that suddenly make a lot more sense.

[iwritelmao]

Bruce: *gets kidnapped*

Clark: *suddenly becomes the scariest motherfucker in gotham*

Tim: *gets kidnapped*

Kon: *suddenly becomes the second scariest motherfucker in gotham*

Damian: *gets kidnapped*

Jon: *to the kidnappers* hey guys! no, don’t worry, I’m just here to give yall a fair warning—hey dude shooting people isn’t nice—that you have maybe two minutes before Dami gets impatient and violent so you might just wanna let him go! yeah I can take him home!

[gaywineauntsstuff]

The best part about DC canon being a sandbox is that you can combine different parts of different timelines into your Frankenstein ideal just to give Bruce Wayne more gray hairs

Observe

Bruce: Dick you know you’re 26 you can’t keep working as a gymnastics instructor on a volunteer basis you need a career.

Dick who has been working as a lawyer in nyc for 3 years now: hmmm yeah you’re totally right B maybe I’ll take some classes

Bruce: Tim you need to get your GED, I cannot allow you to give up on education at highschool.

Tim who got into ivy university and has been zeta-ing back and forth: …hmmm maybe I’m kinda busy

Bruce: I have no idea what Jason does in the day

Jason catholic priest Todd: … yeah I got nothing

-this shitpost was brought to you solely to remind everyone that JASON TODD WAS A CATHOLIC PRIEST IN ANOTHER DIMENSION THANK YOU

[hollis-art]

ngl im not even a superman fan. i just REALLY like clark kent,,, (thank you, Smallville, for that.)

[dudedidujust]

The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind

Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal,  the real Light of Mankind.

It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.

[p1nkshield]

Damian: Todd prepare. I’m going to kill you!

Jason: you can try but it probably won’t stick!

Bruce: what is this about?

Jason: I sent baby pictures of knife child to the robins group chat.

Damian: WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THOSE TODD?!?

Jason: If I wanted something I would bribe Talia with them.

Damian: what? LIES! NEITHER OF MY PARENTS WOULD STOOP TO SUCH A LEVEL RIGHT FATHER?

Bruce: …

Damian: father?

Bruce:… how much?

Damian: FATHER?!?

Bruce: name your price!

Damian: NO!

[onnahu]

Batman is great with kids. He's kind, he's gentle, he's patient. But never towards his own.

A tragedy of Bruce being a parent, stopping seeing his kids as kids.

[chainsxwsmile]

How likable are you?

"Not too shabby!"

Tagged by: @houseflyy (thank you! <3) Tagging: @macrolago (for Perry, or any muse of your choice!), @mambo-by-a-mile, @rathalascendant

[bruciemilf]

Bruce: Parenthood is a spectrum.

Clark: Explain that.

Bruce: Sometimes, my kids make me so proud I almost like myself.

Bruce: Other times, I say ‘Well. At least they’re not doing crack cocaine’

[frownyalfred]

favorite Bruce Wayne hc of the week: you’re allowed to follow him into the Cave to continue your argument, but he’s going to start undressing and pulling off armor while heading for the showers and if you get an eyeful, that’s on you.

It’s an effective tactic and stops a good 60% of those arguments in their tracks. The remaining 40% are usually intense enough to follow Bruce into the showers and yell at him while he’s casually showering off grime and blood.

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

Let me introduce you to this concept: batkids pick a silly t-shirt of the week, in which Brucie will be “accidentally” caught by the paparazzi.

Dick, as a millennial he is, chooses something with mottos like yolo or jokes about coffee. He also has a special love for quotes and puns, which nobody but him finds funny.

Jason does not participate, because he refuses to think about Bruce more than it’s absolutely necessary. And if some t-shirt reminds him of his dad Bruce, well, he just passes by.

Barbara, although she has a wonderful sense of humour, uses her power to spread awareness instead. When an important social or political event takes place in Gotham and beyond its chapels, the choice is hers.

Cass loves matching t-shirts, because it makes her feel that she belongs. Every time it's her turn to pick, newspapers spread out the touching headlines like “Bruce Wayne was caught with his daughter in I'm with stupid t-shirts”.

Steph simply goes to the women's department and chooses one of those ugly Eiffel Tower or a rhinestone “princess” t-shirt. They're also usually pretty tight, and, trust me, the press just loves it.

Tim wake up and choose violence Drake prints t-shirts himself, always putting some brainrot words on them. That's how “what a sigma” and “skibidi toilet rizzler” appeared in Bruce's wardrobe.

Damian takes great pride in his t-shirts, because he draws pictures on them by hand. Nobody could convince him that it's not, in fact, a competition, and he has to make sure that he is winning.

Duke always gives Bruce some niche band t-shirts. Plot twist? These bands do not exist. He just creates them himself and then proceeds to gaslight people, because “what do you mean you don't know batshit on the rooftop? You, uncultured pig! Their music literally changed my life!”.

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Bruce keeping a tighter and tighter lid on his identity around the Justice League because with each new person to reveal their identity he realizes that he has fucked far too high a percentage of his co workers as Bruce Wayne and he has to take this secret to his grave